Hayley's Day

For those of you who don't know this already, four years ago Luke and I lost a daughter just a few days before her due date. We named her Hayley. At the time they found no cause to explain her death. But, finally after the delivery of our last little guy I was finally diagnosed. I guess my uterus doesn't circulate blood properly . This can cause a lack of fluids and nutrition to the baby. Which if the Doctors are unaware of can cause a death of an infant. Luckily our last two were watched very closely and taken a month early. We just feel fortunate to have the three healthy children that we do.
So anyways, that explains this next post. I must admit I do think I'm being a little selfish by sharing so much info about our sweet Hayley, but what can I say I'm a proud Mom. I absolutely love talking about her and the blessing she is to our family. Plus there's not many appropriate opportunities where I can. So, I'm taking full advantage of her birthday.


This picture was actually taken exactly four years ago today. I remember being way excited because we were only three days away from Hayley's delivery and her pregnancy had been one of the most trying times of our lives. Honestly, we would of never guessed what was about to happen.

Hayley was one of our most active babies in the womb. She must of had the hiccups at least once a day the last few months I carried her.

I remember while caring Hayley eating a ton of apples, like three or so a day. I could not get enough of them. I also remember having this chronic craving for McDonald's french fries. How nasty is that?! I also don't think there was a night I didn't end without a bowl of ice cream. I guess I could of had crazier cravings, but the whole three or more apples a day thing. That sounds crazy enough to me. :)

This was the talk my father gave at her funeral. The night he speaks about in his talk was one one the most memorable experiences we had after her passing. One of the many blessings she gave our family was a strengthened bond with both our extended families. I just remember feeling such gratitude for our families that night. Not to get too deep, but I felt like I saw just a glimpse of what families could be like at their full potential.

Among many other emotions, I remember feeling such an enormous amount of peace. I had heard people talk about feeling that kind of peace when loosing a loved one, but had never experienced it personally.

As I'm sure you could imagine that day was the hardest day Luke and I had ever experienced. Saying that , at the same time it was one of the most spiritually powerful days of our lives. She blessed us with an opportunity to feel our Saviors love is way we never had before. Just one of the many many blessings Hayley brought to our family.

This is where Hayley is buried. It's in Portland Oregon. Right after we lost her, this cemetery was the first cemetery that came to my mind. I was thrilled to find we would be able to have her there. My only regret is that most of the time we don't live near enough to visit very often. At least we are blessed with family that does and visits often and takes care of her head stone for us. Although I must admit on special occasions like this I wish we could be there ourselves.
This is what her head stone looks like except the writing is a whole lot bigger.

I loved this design because to me it represents in a small way the simple quite beauty she brought to our lives.

I'm afraid I could really go on and on when it comes to Hayley. So, I think I'll just stop here before I start crying again. I just want to say how much we love our sweet Hayley, and know we will see her again. We are grateful for the sweet, sacred, powerful experiences her life blessed our family with. We will forever be strengthened because of her.

Although time passes just like it says above "she is forever in our hearts".